Best Non Toxic Nail Salon in Houston

Imagine a world where looking longer than your life expectancy is your worst fear — an unknown universe filled with long nails that come off in as many lopsided claws as possible. Even worse, it seems that a whopping 50 percent of those who try a certain four-pronged nail varnish will not get even half of their nails to grow for six months, which is ludicrous.

Sometimes known as “Topcoats,” these patients are a phenomenon completely unknown to manicurists everywhere. “We’re still learning what they’re up to, but it seems those who wear them are the severely uncoordinated who try to hide their malady by rubbing their hands together constantly or by using gauze when they undress, both of which are incredibly unsanitary,” says Beverly Hills on-call manicurist Victoria Hernández. “Nails also cause severe friction and chipping. This is why I strongly suggest bare nails, even on nails as old as my own.”

If these stereotypes don’t shock you into action, Victoria’s other tips might. She wrote on Instagram, “I know what you’re thinking: ‘I thought you meant this over-the-counter stuff that your mom does to grow your nails.’ My daughter has a healthy-looking Mohawk ‘freshener’ every few months, which she adds to her application. Here’s the thing: For many (most?) people, nothing grows faster than the cure-all stuff advertised on TV! The spray-on gel, paste, clear gloss, and nail polishes you see in the commercials are extremely painful and very slippery. Your professional manicurist knows best. So the Ritz-Carlton only offers Hydrate + Shine polish in a blue hue. Dry-eliminate, precoated coats like Timberline and short-lived anti-ageing foil-plaque. Yeah, yeah, I’ve given them up for space. I’ll just go for a simple coat of nude nail polish and try to look our like a professional.”