Did A Dachshund Get Stolen With Her Nails?

Dognappers who stole Michael Carrey’s beloved toy dachshund Mini Moe the other week would have had a problem with the weight of her nails. The four-legged thief (poor nugget), as photos suggest, worked his entire life to accumulate a large set of claw marks. According to celebrity dog expert extraordinaire Marsha Mueller, using a Sharpie pen to fill Mini’s gap would likely have done more harm than good.

“Nails are like fingerprints,” Mueller told POPSUGAR. “The length and length and length, and it makes it easier for law enforcement to identify the owner at a later date.” Not only that, but Mueller says that the thick nails on Mini’s paws were probably too delicate to fix. After all, she notes, “When you are trying to find a bite mark on somebody’s toe, you definitely can’t do it with a Sharpie,” because even a small swipe with the pen would erode the tiny amount of skin skin Mini had left.

“When you are trying to find a bite mark on somebody’s toe, you definitely can’t do it with a Sharpie,” says celebrity dog expert Marsha Mueller.

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Since Mini had no hair on her paws and little soft tissue, Mueller says she can be viewed as a decoy at best. “So if you have to go out and you don’t have any hair and nothing but tiny nails that are barely there, where are you going to find a leg to try to shoot a ball at? Or what if you’re trying to go after an abuser? It’s not a reliable weapon. It’s not even a standard tool to go in your purse and say, ‘I need some help.'”

Many men may experience their own sadness that one of their dogs (or cats!) has been stolen. Instead of dwelling on the grief (or using it as a focus to achieve something even better), Mueller suggests adopting your new puppy right now or looking for a group of pets or families who would be willing to temporarily house your pet while you figure out your new path. Still, Mueller says, “But if you’ve loved them, that means that you’ve cared for them.” And, after loving them, you want to protect them.