Ah, the salon: a hot, sweaty, anxiety-ridden affair where you wait impatiently for your holiday fix to arrive, your favorite floaty dress is just about to warp into a sheer flagellation, and everything you eat is adding a dollop of delicious-stuck-in-your-jaw-bones peanut butter to your temperature control blanket. Sure, it’s ideal when you’re not doing your nails, but when you do want to show them off? It’s all pretty agonizing.

Thankfully, we’ve reached the convenience level of ‘Nails!’ Anywhere, Now, and Anyone, with the launch of PinkVilla Nail Extensions ($16). After we told you about them earlier in the week, we got quite a bit of blowback, including this gem from the always discerning Nicole Richie: “Absolutely NOT for my nail addiction.” There are two major reasons why she could’ve gone one way or the other. The first? I was having a nail-biting anxiety attack — look it up. The second? I’m convinced these are brilliant…just take a look at what they’re capable of:

And then there’s this fabulous-ish review by a neuroscientist: “The way it stimulates the nerve endings is actually a sophisticated pain modulation.”

I say that with my full, 100 percent innocent, totally legit, totally wide-eyed “yay!” support. These are the guys who make dildos, so being abstinent from committing obvious felonies is safe, right?