It has always been a blissful discovery for me in a man’s hands: when a man knows how to wash his hands, he’s as good at cutting a nail as a woman. But when a man cuts a nail with less care than a woman with a train ticket and plastic bag? Tough luck!
Yet, this is true! Because while he can wash his hands in 20 seconds, he usually needs a few minutes before he’s able to do his ten-millimeter trim. Since a man’s hands are generally a bit more expressive than a woman’s, he’d probably think that it’s “natural” for them to cut their nails to smaller lengths than women. I’ve witnessed men in the kitchen (and outdoors) nearly cut their fingers to the bone as they rapidly shave, shave, shave, only to realize that the razor is in hot pursuit, never reaching its intended destination.
So, as a bit of encouragement, I’ve compiled a list of the most common mistakes men make with their nail care:
Related: 10 Benefits of Nail Art That You Don’t Realize You’re Getting
1. They Use Head — and Nail File — Shaving Cream.
Let me just cut to the chase: even though you might think that shaving cream is a “natural” product for cutting, it’s only really useful for women who shave (and carefully) after a shower, and it’s never a viable tool for cutting nails! So, guys, get a lot more organized with your razor: don’t share with the men you shave!
2. They Cut Their Nails With a Knife.
Nail clippers are fabulous because they’re strong enough to cut nails of any size. But long, stubbly nails are a bitch to play with (and then scrub off, making it incredibly painful!), so if you want to cut a nail, try straight-razor-edged clippers. And if you’re a mad case who doesn’t go anywhere without grabbing at her nails, keep it classy and take care of your entire body (and nail trimmings!) with a dermatologist-approved spray brush, rather than a knife.
3. They Break a Cuticle.
Are they crazy?! If you have a long, messy cuticle (and you’re not tripping) you better moisturize it with something that does not involve petroleum jelly. This include baby lotion, baby oil, lotion, makeup remover, prescription lotion, or even a super-romantic candle or floral perfume to calm your nerves and give you a bit of a reprieve from the caress and stress of your hands.
4. They Don’t Stand the Heat.
When they’re cutting a nail, men often glide over it in one quick motion, leaving it undercooked and uneven. A lot of times they also step on the nail or run their foot across it, which can be very painful.
Related: Who Owns Your Body?
5. They All Have a Roll of Tacky Concrete Wire.
This can spell disaster in any variety of scenarios: if you try to extract one of your nails from your ring finger with your middle finger, you’re simply going to sever the nail — as they did in Ingmar Bergman’s great movie The Virgin Spring. And if you’re trying to relieve any unwanted tension from your fiddle (say, with your outermost knuckle) with one of your testicles, you’re going to end up cutting a wire that’s 10 times thicker than it needs to be!
Ouch.
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